G&STC Blog Roundup: 10 Blogs To Read Before Dating This Summer
Summer, even as adults, often has a magical fun kind of quality to it. While we may no longer get yearly summer breaks as we did in school, it’s still a time of brighter weather, social events, and lots of opportunities to meet new people–from friends’ barbecues & parties, to community festivals (like Pride). It’s also a time when people start to come out of their shells a bit, and dive back into the dating world.
It can be hard to decide you want to get back into dating again–while it can definitely be a fun, valuable experience when done intentionally, connecting with others is hard and requires a lot of vulnerability! It can feel a little daunting to jump back into it, especially if you’re out of practice.
To help you out, we’ve gathered 10 of our old blogs on dating and all the things that come with it–from communicating your sexual history to being intentional with your dating and relationship style, we’ve got insight for you.
So, here are 10 blogs you should read before deciding to jump back into dating this summer:
Tips for Reentering the Dating World (Post Vaccine)
“If there are non-negotiable rules you have when it comes to dating and pandemic safety, consider putting them directly in your bio. While your bio can include your boundaries, it's also an opportunity to speak to who you are–but being upfront about the things you need is totally fine. If you’re not comfortable meeting up until you know more about the vaccine status or how they’ve been managing the pandemic say that! If you’re only open to meeting other vaccinated folks, say that!”
“Dating people short-term or simply for the pleasure of connecting with others instead of searching for “the one” can often be seen as taboo, but there is no shame in craving these kinds of romantic or sexual connections. When you determine what you want from dating and are upfront about that early on (or right away in your dating profile), casual connections can flourish and provide exactly what you need in that moment.”
How to Talk About Your Sexual History
“Remember, this isn’t a conversation that you necessarily have to have with every partner. Safety is an important concern, but other factors to consider when having this conversation are the meaning we bring to the conversation, what you do with the information, how you respond, and the types of follow up questions you ask.”
“Dr. Turban points out that one of the challenges of identifying harmful app use is figuring out what motivates the behavior. On the surface, of course, users are most often looking for casual sex. But there are lots of different things that we can get from casual sex. Dr. Turban asks: “Are you self-soothing anxiety? Do you think you can’t attain love, so you’re settling for hookups? Did your parents tell you being gay is wrong and you’re searching for acceptance?” He also asks if participants are struggling with compulsive sexual behaviors or with attraction and desire in monogamous relationships. All of these are possible reasons a person might feel pulled toward casual sex.”
Managing Jealousy While Your Partner Is On A Date
“Non-monogamous relationships may present more opportunities for jealousy to arise as you explore multiple relationships at the same time. Even those who have been practicing ethical non-monogamy for years find jealousy can sneak up while a partner is on a date with someone else. It is a vulnerable experience to love multiple people at the same time — especially when living in a society that prioritizes compulsory monogamy. When it comes to facing jealousy, it’s helpful to explore what is beneath the surface so you can communicate your feelings and needs with lovers.”
The Difference Between Intentional and Compulsory Monogamy
“Instead of offering resources and empowering education on navigating healthy relationships, young people are left with little to no education on this topic. Without proper knowledge on relationship green flags and communication skills, young people will replicate the examples they are provided — which often mirror compulsory monogamy and perpetuate monogamy myths. Knowledge about the various ways in which relationships can be structured unravels these unhealthy assumptions about what romantic and sexual relations are “supposed” to look like. This information allows people to create connections that feel empowering for them.”
G&STC Director Jesse Kahn Talks With Healthline About Rebound Relationships
“Is it possible to date someone without talking about what you’re looking for? NOPE!
“In any relationship, you need to be clear and transparent around your wants, needs, expectations, limitations, and boundaries — and that stands for rebound relationships,” says Kahn. Failure to (honestly!) communicate what you’re looking for is a recipe for hurt and mess.”
G&STC Director Jesse Kahn Talks With Healthline About When To Have Sex With A New Partner
“Dating can mean anything! There’s also no universally accepted definition of a date! The definition of dating is up to you! While virtual dates and texting or messaging before meeting in person is more widely practiced, ultimately dating is getting to know someone and connecting.”
When, Where and Why: Telling Your Sexual Partners You Have a Long-Term STI
“That said, even in this new age of prevention, it’s still a good (and oftentimes legally-required) move to tell potential partners of your status before you hook up. Additionally, we believe conversations about sexuality, what you like, what you don't like, and STI status are important for everyone regardless of your gender, sexuality, and STI status.”
BLOG AUTHORS ALL HOLD POSITIONS AT THE GENDER & SEXUALITY THERAPY CENTER (G&STC). FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT OUR THERAPISTS AND SERVICES PLEASE CONTACT US.