The Difference Between Self Care and Self Soothing

Both self-care and self-soothing techniques can act as tools to manage panic, anxiety, and general dismay. You may be wondering - what’s the difference between self-care and self-soothing? While there is plenty of overlap between the two, self-soothing activities tend to work as firefighters, putting out the emergency at hand and getting you out of the burning building.

Meanwhile, learning self-care activities is like fire-proofing your home so that your risk of fire becomes much lower. Keep reading to understand the difference between the two, how to integrate both into your life, and plenty of suggestions for fun self-soothing and self-care practices.

What is Self-Soothing?

Self-soothing takes care of you in the present moment. Sudden stressors can appear during your daily routines, such as an upsetting email, phone call, or news story. Some people with panic disorders may experience disrupting anxiety attacks seemingly out of nowhere.

Whether it’s a panic attack triggered by a traumatizing memory, an upsetting text from a romantic partner, or an intrusive thought, sometimes we go into fight or flight mode unexpectedly and need to self-soothe to make it through the day. 

Self-soothing provides short-term relief from overwhelming emotions and helps you return to the present moment through grounding exercises. 

Sometimes, self-soothing may require taking medication to calm a panic attack. If you are prescribed medication by your doctor, using it as prescribed is recommended, and you should certainly not feel guilty about needing to do so. That’s what it’s for!And there are many non-medicinal ways to self-soothe that can be relevant for folks whether or not they take medication. Some of these ideas include:

• Try a breathing exercise to lower your stress.

  • One helpful tool is the four-fold breath. Sit somewhere calm and out of the way. Close your eyes. Inhale for four counts, and hold for four counts. Exhale for four counts, and hold for four counts. Repeat until a sense of calm takes over. 

• If you can, take a nap.

  • Even a 15-minute power nap can provide clarity and ease. 

• Listen to music.

  • Make sure it’s music that makes you feel relaxed, such as calming ambient music, or your songs that make you feel powerful, such as your favorite pop or rock hits. 

• Try an herbal remedy.

  • A cup of chamomile tea, a CBD tincture, or valerian root are all relaxing options. 

• Meditate.

  • If you’re at home and have the time, try meditating for 10 or 20 minutes. If you’re stuck somewhere social, such as the office, try stepping into the park or restroom to meditate for just five minutes. 

• Take a long bath.

  • If you’re at home, fill the tub with warm water. Add Epsom salts, bath oil, or a bath bomb for added fun and aromatherapy. 

• Call a friend.

  • This is what friends are for, to support you and offer kind words when life gets hard.  

• Have a treat.

  • Sometimes a popsicle can change your whole mood. 

• Reach out to your therapist.

  • If you need immediate support, your therapist may not be able to get back to you right away. However, reaching out to them shows that you’re taking action and allows you to make an appointment as soon as they can see you to discuss self-soothing techniques you can use in the future. 

• If you’re at home, try masturbating.

  • Research suggests that orgasms provide relaxation. 

What is Self-Care?

Self-care exercises are ideally integrated into your routine. They may require switching up your schedule at first, which can be stressful, but they will make your long-term stressors easier to manage. Self-care makes you stronger. It’s not “lazy” or a “waste of time,” but quite the opposite. The more accustomed that you are to self-care, the easier self-soothing becomes. 

As with self-soothing, self-care may require you to stay on top of your medications. This entails ensuring that all of your prescriptions are filled and picked up on time so that you never have to go without your medication, which can be both uncomfortable and dangerous. Below are more self-care ideas that you can integrate into your routine. 

• Make an effort to stay aware of your breathing at all times.

  • Check-in with yourself regularly to make sure that you’re inhaling and exhaling deeply. 

• Get enough sleep.

  • Power naps are great, but ideally, you should get at least seven hours of sleep each night. 

• Pick up a new hobby.

  • Learn the guitar, yoga, or attend dance classes to make time for yourself. 

• Start a daily meditation practice.

  • Even if it’s just for five minutes, sit with yourself in the morning before you begin your day. There are many helpful meditation apps available if a guiding voice is valuable. 

• Go to therapy regularly.

  • If you can meet with a therapist at least once a week, you can build an ongoing relationship, chart your progress, and know that there’s always someone who has your back and can offer an impartial viewpoint. 

• Nourish your body with foods that feel good to you.

  • When your body feels good, your mental health also improves. 

• Consider adopting a pet if you don’t have one already.

  • What a fun assignment! Pets are associated with lower stress levels, plus you can snuggle your dog or cat when you need to self-soothe. 

• Have a movement routine.

  • Whether you’re a walker, a gym rat, a runner, a dancer, or someone who gets their workout in by riding a bike to work or chasing toddlers, movement is also associated with improved mental health. 

• Maintain loving, healthy, relationships.

  • You can work with a therapist to help co-create the types of relationships, connection and closeness that you desire in both platonic and romantic relationships.

With a solid self-care practice and go-to self-soothing techniques, you will have an arsenal at your side when life’s stresses get in the way.

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