G&STC’s Director Jesse Kahn talks with Gabrielle Kassel at Shape About What the Term Heteronormativity Means
CHECK OUT G&STC’S DIRECTOR JESSE KAHN TALKING WITH GABRIELLE KASSEL AT INSTYLE ABOUT WHAT THE TERM NON-BINARY MEANS AND HOW TO EXPLORE NON-BINARY GENDER.
“‘[Heteronormativity] names the belief that being straight and cisgender [and allosexual] are the only normal and natural expressions of sexuality and gender,’ and that everything else is deviant, explains Jesse Kahn, L.C.S.W., C.S.T., director and sex therapist at The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in NYC."
“‘In an explicit and implicit way, "heteronormativity says anyone who is not heterosexual and/or cisgender and/or allosexual is strange, abnormal, deviant, and unnatural,’ explains Kahn. This opens up opportunities for LGBTQ+ people to be discriminated against, rejected, and enacted violence on, he says. The stats about the violence, rejection, and discrimination that LGBTQ people face match this experience,’ he says.”
“At the very least, says Kahn, ‘these changes should include shifting away from heteronormativity include offering pronouns, using gender-neutral language (such as for partners and spouses), learning about and from LGBTQ+ people and experiences, and unlearning microaggressive language (like ‘preferred’ pronouns, ‘real’ name, and ‘regular’ or ‘normal’ as synonyms for heterosexual or cisgender).’”
MORE FROM G&STC DIRECTOR JESSE KAHN ON THIS TOPIC
On what heteronormativity means
Heteronormativity is the pervasive belief that being straight and cisgender is the only “normal” and “natural” expression and way of being. It also says that binary genders and sexualities are the norm. Heteronormativity is rooted in white supremacy, colonization, and white puritanical and moralistic belief systems.
On Assuming sexuality
When you assume someone’s sexuality, you are passing judgement, communicating to them how you perceive and project onto them and that may be incorrect. When it’s incorrect it can feel isolating and increase a sense of invisibility.
On ways to break free of heteronormativity
Some ways to shift away from heteronormativity include offering pronouns, using gender neutral language (such as for partners and spouses), unlearning what you think you know about gender and sexuality, learning about lgbtq people and experiences and unlearning microaggressive language that feels normal. Some microaggressions including language like “preferred” pronouns, “real” name, using “regular” or “normal” as synonymouns for heterosexual or cisgender, heteronormative assumptions about any relationships, and assuming who someone dates.