G&STC's Director Talks with Insider About How to Respond to your Partner Coming Out as Queer, Bi and/or Pansexual

Check out G&STC's Director Jesse Kahn talking with Canela Lopez at Insider about How to Respond to your Partner Coming Out as Queer, Bi and/or Pansexual

A few highlights:

"Being bisexual or pansexual doesn't make someone suddenly want to be non-monogamous and being monogamous also doesn't mean people don't experience attraction outside of their relationship,"

"Start by just listening, not launching into questions, and thanking them for sharing this personal information with you," Kahn said. "You can preface questions with an affirmation of love, connection and acceptance, acknowledge your limitations and affirm that if you say anything shaming or rejecting it is your own ignorance and not them."

"Many harmful responses are rooted in misconceptions that surface as shame, rejection, and fear," Kahn said. "To avoid being unsupportive and causing harm to your relationship, it can be useful to have a supportive space that can help you unlearn any misconceptions or assumptions that might be hurtful to your partner."

According to Kahn, coming out is about intimacy and signifies trust from a partner, so it's important to react accordingly by not judging a partner for being queer and hold space for them.

"And if the conversation doesn't go as smoothly as you wish, that's also okay," Kahn said. "We're not perfect and all we can do is our best and then work to rebuild trust. Working through conflict and rebuilding trust is an important part of every relationship."