14 Resources to Share After Coming Out
In our last blog, we covered our top tips for when you’re ready to come out. One of our tips was to have resources and information ready to share with those you choose to come with–not only to help them educate themselves, but to take the burden of that personal growth off of you.
While it would be great if everyone we chose to come out to was well informed about the LGBTQ community and experience, it just isn’t always the case, and it can feel extremely tiresome to have to try to explain your own identity over and over again to those who just don’t understand.
To help with this, we’ve put together a few resources you can share with loved ones when you choose to come out, along with a script of what you can say when redirecting them to these resources.
Lastly, resources are always growing, changing, evolving and expanding - much like gender and sexuality! Make sure you take a look at the resources you’re giving out as some of the definitions may align with you and others may not (for example: some find FTM/MTF to be binary and limiting language and not what they want to convey and for others that works!). Additionally, there may be more or less local resources depending on where you live.
Resources for Education:
Glossary of Terms: Parts one, two, three, four & five | G&STC
This glossary of terms was put together as a way to help educate fellow therapists & medical providers, but can work as an excellent jumping off point for anyone in your life unfamiliar with the LGBTQ community, or the identities within it.
National Glossary of Terms | PFLAG
Another glossary of terms, this one comes from PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays). It is an evolving glossary, as language changes all the time. In their words: “Here are some working definitions and examples of frequently used (and misused) terms as a starting point for dialogue and understanding.”
Transgender Reading List for Adults | PFLAG
This is a great reading list to share with the adults in your life that cover a variety of questions and topics such as: “how best to help a child who’s questioning their gender, how to help a friend or family member in transition, how to be a good friend or ally, or how to navigate the many complex legal issues that surround being transgender.”
Transgender Reading List for Young Adults | PFLAG
Another reading list, this one is geared toward young adults, either transitioning themselves, or looking to be an ally to loved ones who may be transgender, gender expansive, or genderqueer.
Training Toolkit: LGBTQ History | PFLAG
Learning the expansive history of the LGBTQ community is a great way to educate oneself on persistent social & political issues, lasting stigma, as well as the rich cultural contributions of the community.
Gender Basics for Parents | PFLAG
This is an hour long workshop video with the goal of educating parents of LGBTQ children on gender basics. This video covers:
Gender and how it differs from our sex and sexual orientation
Common terms you might hear and what they mean
The ways in which understandings of gender are evolving
How all of us can navigate these expanding understandings in our families and communities.
Frequently Asked Questions | My Kid is Gay
This is a glossary of blog posts that cover frequently asked questions from parents of children who have recently come out. It covers things like: what not to say when your child comes out, what language may be hurting your child, how to continue to talk about safe sex, defining gender terms, how to handle sleepovers, being a supportive parent, and more.
The Defining Series | My Kid is Gay
This is a great resource for parents or loved ones who have no familiarity with the LGBTQ community or the many identities that fall under that umbrella. You can find posts that define, explain, and debunk myths about many terms and queer identities.
Resources for Support:
How to Be a Trans Ally | G&STC
Being an ally is an action, not a title. It’s not something you are, it’s something you do. Here are some ways you can show up for trans people every day.
Quick Tips for Supporting Your LGBTQ Kids–And Yourself–During the Coming Out Process | PFLAG
This post answers the questions that often come up after a child comes out to their parents. From “Now that I know, what can I do to support my child?” to “How will I ever handle this?” this post can help guide parents on how to be the support their child needs.
When Someone Comes Out: A Guide to Demonstrating Support & Acceptance | PFLAG
What is the best way to show a loved one who has recently come out that you are there to support them? Read through this guide to find tips & best practices.
10 Ways to Be an Ally & Friend | GLAAD
Simple and straightforward, this post gives 10 bullet points on how to be an ally & friend to someone who has chosen to come out to you.
Tips for Parents of LGBTQ Youth | Johns Hopkins
For a more in-depth look at how to be a supportive parent & ally than the list above, this list from John’s Hopkins is a great starting point. From the post: “LGBTQ youth face some unique challenges that parents often feel unprepared to tackle. To help, Johns Hopkins pediatricians and adolescent medicine specialists Renata Arrington Sanders and Errol Fields share steps you can take to keep your kid happy and healthy.
Helping Families Support Their Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) Children | Family Acceptance Project
This is an even more in-depth look at how to provide support to LGBTQ children.
“This practice brief was developed for families, caretakers, advocates, and providers to:
Provide basic information to help families support their lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) children
Share some of the critical new research from the Family Acceptance ProjectTM (FAP) at San Francisco State University. This important new research shows that families have a major impact on their LGBT children’s health, mental health, and well-being; and
Give families and LGBT youth hope that ethnically, religiously, and socially diverse families, parents, and caregivers can become more supportive of their LGBT children”
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