Exploring Solo Kink
Do you feel like your masturbation routine is boring? Do you crave kinky sex when you're alone?
Many people think kink is only for partnered sex but that is simply not true! Exploring kink alone can be empowering and pleasurable. It is a time to enjoy yourself and find what feels good for you. Experimenting with kink by yourself is also an optimal time to get comfortable in new skills, develop fantasies, and learn about yourself, which can enhance your future experiences with partners.
You may not want to share all of your fantasies with partners or you may be with a partner that doesn’t enjoy kink, which is totally okay! Solo kink allows you a judgment free space to follow your kink curiosities. There are many ways to explore kink on your own, they can include masturbation but don’t always. Ask yourself how you want to feel and what you want to experience before starting any new form of kink play.
Solo Role Play
Role playing is a great way to enjoy fantasies, even if you’re alone. Exploring these kinky thoughts solo is the perfect time to play with fantasies that you don’t want to share with others. Follow your curiosities, free of shame, and see where they take you. Reading or listening to erotica can mentally transport you into a sexy scenario. Imagine yourself in the scene and try to replicate the sensations being described on yourself. Talk dirty to yourself! Or even write your own erotica. There are also BDSM role playing games online and interactive porn videos that many people find fun. Use your imagination and get creative! The internet is full of erotica that can inspire you.
Bring Out The Toys
Sex toys can add exciting kink elements to your solo play. You can use floggers and paddles on yourself for impact play. It is totally possible to spank yourself! Many people also enjoy experimenting with sensation play alone. This can look like dripping candle wax on yourself or using electrostimulation toys. Experiment with suction and vibration toys on areas other than the genitals to find pleasure.
Orgasm Denial
Teasing and orgasm denial are another way you can take your BDSM fantasies into your own hands. You can use toys to edge yourself to the brink of orgasm and then deny yourself, over and over. Some people find it fun to act as their own dominant and use orgasms as rewards or orgasm denial as a punishment. You might tell yourself that you aren’t allowed to touch yourself until you fold that pile of laundry.
Dress Up
Wearing sexy outfits doesn’t only have to be when you’re with partners! It can be sensual to wear kinky clothes around your home for yourself. Do your dishes while wearing a hood or watch tv in your latex briefs. Some people may also enjoy wearing fetish pieces in public. Which can be hidden, like nipple clamps under a shirt, or part of your outfit like a leather harness worn over clothes.
Solo Bondage
Exploring bondage while you're alone can be a great way to experience pleasure and to hone your rope skills. While some more elaborate ties may be out of reach, there are a lot of online tutorials to help you learn self ties. Self bondage can be a lovely time to feel present in your body and connect to sensations, such as mindfully feeling the rope texture and pressure on your skin. Some rope can also be worn under clothing to go out in public, like corset harnesses and crotch ties.
Not all self bondage has to involve ropes either! Using things like spreader bars and handcuffs during masturbation can be exciting. There are time-release bondage restraints like electronic timer locks or ice locks, that melt within an hour for easy release.
Safety First
Solo bondage is riskier than bondage with others so make sure you have a safety plan ahead of time! Start small and simple, especially if you are experimenting with rope ties, and don’t get yourself into something that you can’t get out of. You should never incapacitate yourself. Always make sure you have rope-cutting scissors within reach. Also have your phone within reach if you need to call for help. Be proactive about your safety with self bondage.
Kinky sex, even with yourself, can be highly emotional! It is important to check in with yourself to make sure you feel safe in whatever activities you do. If you have a history of self-harm or anxiety, it is a good idea to talk to a therapist before engaging in solo kink. It is not for everyone. Think about how you want to feel and what you want to get out of your experience.
Practice Self Aftercare
Aftercare is the emotional and physical care you give someone after a sexual experience. This time is very vulnerable even when you are playing by yourself. Prepare for your aftercare ahead of time by making yourself a snack and having water ready to nourish you when you are done with a scene. Take the time to swaddle yourself in a blanket and watch a comfort show or get into a warm bath to relax your body. It is also important to check in with yourself emotionally. Journal about your experience; reflect on how you felt and where your mind wandered. Give yourself words of affirmation that make you feel attractive and loved. Find what aftercare activities ground you the most and prepare for them before starting your solo fun.
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