G&STC’s Director Jesse Kahn talks with Gabrielle Kassel at InStyle About What the Term Cisgender Means
CHECK OUT G&STC’S DIRECTOR JESSE KAHN TALKING WITH GABRIELLE KASSEL AT INSTYLE ABOUT WHAT THE TERM CISGENDER MEANS AND HOW IT DIFFERS FROM BEING TRANSGENDER OR NONBINARY.
"Put simply, cisgender is a word for someone's gender aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth", explains Jesse Kahn, L.C.S.W., C.S.T., director and sex therapist at The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in NYC. "Important: Cisgender is an adjective, not a noun, they say. Meaning, someone is not 'a cisgender'. They're a cisgender man, cisgender woman, or cisgender person."
"You are cisgender if your gender correlates to the sex you were assigned at birth, and gender your parents assumed you were and raised you are," says Kahn. "For example, if when you were born and the doctors were like "it's a girl!" and you grow up to be a woman, you're cisgender," he says.
If, however, you don't feel like the gender you've been living in is the "right" gender, you may not be cisgender. In this instance, Kahn notes that there are a variety of words you might use to name your lived experience and gender. Including non-binary, transgender, non-binary and transgender, or any other gender identity term.
"Start by educating yourself on what gender is, various gender terms such as non-binary and transgender, and what the differences are between things like gender identity and gender presentation," suggests Kahn. Beyond just educating yourself on the terminology, "it's important to also reflect on your familiarity with, relationship to, and underlying judgments and assumptions of the people and communities that embody these identities, expressions, and experiences," says Kahn.
While we all have judgments, and it's OK that we do, he says, "we do need to be aware of and work to unlearn, not perpetuate, those judgments."
Khan suggests jotting down thoughts on questions like: What does gender mean to me? How might I describe my gender? What words resonate for me? What's my gender presentation and how does that differ or feel aligned with my gender?
MORE FROM G&STC DIRECTOR JESSE KAHN ON THIS TOPIC
What cisgender means
You know you’re cisgender if your gender correlates to the gender in which you were assigned at birth. So, for example, when you were born and the doctors were like “it’s a boy!” and you grow up to be a man, you’re cisgender.
On exploring gender
I would start by educating yourself on what gender is, various different terms associated with gender, and what the differences are between concepts like presentation vs identity. And then ask yourself: What does gender mean to me? How might I describe my gender? What words resonate for me? What’s my gender presentation and how does that differ or feel aligned with my gender?
In addition to educating yourself on the actual words, it’s important to also reflect on your familiarity with, relationship to and underlying judgments and assumptions of the people and communities that embody these identities, expressions, and experiences. It’s okay to have judgments - we all do. What matters is that we are aware of, question the validity of, work to unlearn and not perpetuate those judgments.
On gender expression
Gender expression refers to the external display of one’s gender, through action, style, voice, etc. Someone’s expression doesn’t always reflect someone's gender.
How to use your cisgender privilege
There are a lot of ways to be an ally to trans people and for therapists to create more queer and trans inclusive practices! Cisgender people can “use their privilege for good” is by unlearning their transphobia, unlearning cisgender supremancy, reflecting on the transphobic microaggressions that they uphold and believe, and then calling that our in their work places, relationships, families, and environments.