G&STC Director Jesse Kahn talks with Huffinton Post about Improving Your Virtual Sex Life

CHECK OUT G&STC’S DIRECTOR JESSE KAHN TALKING WITH KELSEY BORRESEN AT HUFFINGTON POST ABOUT IMPROVING YOUR VIRTUAL SEX LIFE.

HERE ARE SOME HIGHLIGHTS

Mistake: You rush into it without establishing boundaries first.

Before you get down to business, it’s essential to get consent from each other, communicate your boundaries and discuss expectations — just as you would (or should!) with sex IRL. Talk about the types of sexual activities you’re OK with, which ones you might be open to exploring and the ones you want to avoid, said Jesse Kahn, sex therapist and director at the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center in New York City. Then make sure you’re on the same page. Keep these conversations ongoing, as your preferences may change.

“This could include how much of your body you’re interested in showing, what is exciting about virtual sex for you, any hesitation, what turns you on about virtual sex and what activities you’re into, and if it’s OK to take screenshots or record,” Kahn said. “Establishing consent is a part of all sex, whether virtual or in-person.”

Mistake: You skip aftercare.

In kink circles, “aftercare” refers to the comfort, support or attention exchanged between partners after an intense sexual experience. These same principles apply to virtual sex, too, Kahn said.

“During aftercare, we give time and attention to each other to wrap up the experience and make sure everyone is feeling taken care of, safe and comfortable,” he said. “Some examples of virtual aftercare can include cleaning up your respective spaces while remaining on video, talking about the experience, having a snack or meal together, and watching a movie together virtually.”