G&STC's Director Talks with Tinder about How To Date When You’re Not Looking For A Relationship

CHECK OUT G&STC DIRECTOR, JESSE KAHN TALK WITH KAI AT TINDER ABOUT “HOW TO DATE WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP”

Be upfront in your profile. There are no “shoulds” when it comes to dating — you are free to do whatever feels right. However, stating what you’re looking for in your Tinder bio will help diminish the likelihood of ending up on a first date with someone looking for a serious boo. “Sharing your intentions on your Tinder profile is a great way to communicate expectations and intentions early on,” says Jesse Kahn, LCSW, CST director and sex therapist at the Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center.

Define “casual” for yourself.  ”Ask yourself, do you want to create intimacy without the relationship being serious?” Kahn suggests. “Some people might feel like casual dating is more about fun banter, while someone else may feel casual dating can include getting to know someone more deeply. Know yourself, know how you relate, and know what you want.”

Get curious about your date’s desires. If you’ve read our blog before, or follow us on instagram you know we’re ALL ABOUT this one.

Find the sweet spot between privacy and honesty. When asked about the level of transparency needed in casual connections, both Kahn and Francis shift the conversation to the value of privacy. “There’s a balance here between not owing people information, and being honest and transparent,” says Kahn. “It’s helpful to know the expectations in your relationships because we all have different wants, perspectives, and needs regarding honesty and transparency when dating.”

Set your rules. Knowing your limits when dating is so crucial. “They play an important role in determining what you need to keep a connection light and casual. There’s no one-size-fits-all guide for casual dating because everyone’s preferences are personal and largely depend on how easily they attach in relationships. Figure out your limits, and you give yourself the best shot of keeping casual connections healthy and thriving.”