Managing Expectations for 2021
It’s safe to say that 2021 might not be the completely fresh start that many of us had been hoping for! Last year was undoubtedly an intense one, bringing about a global pandemic, an economic recession, and heightened levels of political upheaval. Now that January 1st has come and gone, and we continue to live in the midst of intense uncertainty, you may be finding yourself at an emotional crossroads. So, what now?
New Year, New Me?
A new year is “supposed to” usher in a sense of new hope, an expansive future full of possibilities for ourselves–or at least that is what we have been told. However, this renewed hope usually also means lots of pressure for the 365 days that lie ahead. As resolutions, goals, and reflections flood our news social media feeds, it can feel overwhelming to figure out what’s next. This is all true in any given year, but in 2021, it’s even more challenging to reconcile these pressures with the stressors that exist on a daily basis.
This particular year, the name of the game might be letting go of what we should do or what we’re supposed to feel. By throwing away what others believe we should be focusing our energy on, we leave space for what we are actually feeling. In order to chip away at the pressure, ensure that you are taking care of yourself however possible and centering your own emotions over the voices of others.
Try replacing drastic resolutions, which can be unrealistic and harmful, with affirmations that you are enough the way you are. When it feels helpful, meditate on the fact that, even during one of the most difficult periods in recent history, you continue to wake up each day and live your truth.
Holding Space for Grief
While potentially painful, mourning the year that you have been hoping for may be a necessary piece of moving forward. The tantalizing prospect of a clean slate has been proven untrue, as 2020’s traumas and conflicts continue to unfold weeks after the year itself has officially ended. While the dream of a clean slate might have worked as a survival method to keep you going through the final days of 2020, we’re now having to confront the difficult reality that, until the roots are dealt with, those 2020 problems will continue to follow us. You might find yourself cycling (sometimes rapidly) through various stages of grief including, but not limited to, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
It is okay (and healthy!) to feel and be affected by the loss of a pandemic-free, politically uneventful 2021! Coming to terms with whatever grief looks like for you, and being open to the ways this may change over time, is paramount. You might have days where it all feels like too much, days where nothing gets done despite trying. You may feel deep frustration about the limitations that still exist and the ways in which it seems like we have not progressed. Try welcoming all of these thoughts and feelings, even when they don’t feel “good,” and give them the room they need to breathe.
Softening Expectations, Redefining Hope
Many of us experienced the impact of 2020’s events on a deeply personal level and may feel eager to leave this pain in the past. A clock striking midnight might have felt like the perfect opportunity to do so, but we have learned that the passing of time does not always equal relief. It is okay to expect less from 2021, and doing so is not admitting defeat. Logically, we have known that life doesn’t take a 180 degree turn just because the year is different, and in many ways, that is no different this time around. Still, it is normal to feel this more deeply in 2021.
Softening expectations is one way to move forward in your daily life. Maybe this year won’t be the one you get to celebrate in person with all of your friends, take trips, or reunite with faraway loved ones, but that does not mean it has to be a year devoid of connections. If 2020 taught us anything, it is that life can be inexplicably hard, but that we often have more tools and more resilience than we give ourselves credit for.
It’s okay to be hopeful about what is to come and to think expansively about the things that can still go well for you this year! As we have learned, a pandemic can’t halt your growth, and there is so much that remains to be explored.
Journal Prompts for 2021
What pressures and obligations do I want to rid myself of this year? Which thoughts and feelings of my own would I like to prioritize in 2021?
Which stage of grief feels most relevant for me at this time? What are some ways I can cope with this emotion?
Where are some areas of hope for me in 2021? How can I move toward these and allow them to lift me up?
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